Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
