real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
