they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I die, sorry about rent.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
