i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
