You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
