my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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