i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You can't special order awesome
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
