good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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