Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Can you bring me the toilet please
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
