i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
