handjob tips. give me some.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
