sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize