Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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