I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
