i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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