oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
