Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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