I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
