I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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