I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
