Where are you?
In a non slutty way
everyone is single if you try hard enough
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
