Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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