My brain says no but my pants say off.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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