she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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