She is in my trunk
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
