Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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