that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
