I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
