dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
