My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
