So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
