I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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