i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
