she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
