I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
