i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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