We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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