i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
