Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
