Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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