Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
