Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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