We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
