some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
