I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
