Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize