I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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