addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
