They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
