you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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