I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The struggles of a small town man whore
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
