Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
