I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize