Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
