I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
