And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
