i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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