Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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