on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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