i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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