Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
