It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
