I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
don't judge my taste in strippers
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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