Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
